Something Shiny! - School category

It's like getting a Dear John letter. Only not.

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 21:12:42 GMT

Dear Professor,

I'm sorry I didn't email you sooner. I had an injury/accident/financial crisis/stint in jail/pole-dancing gig/whatnot that prevented me from coming to class the other day. I'm really, really, really sorry I wasn't able to come to class. I'm sure you understand that it Wasn't My Fault (TM). Anyway, I was wondering if you could tell me what I missed? Also, could you tell me if there's anything important I need to know for the upcoming exam/paper/quiz? Thank you!

Sincerely, Your Student

Man, we are a messed up bunch

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 03:38:47 GMT

Here's a fun trick. Get a group of academics together in a room. Doesn't matter what department they're in. History, Sociology, Econ, Statistics, Engineering... get a good mix. Talk to them for awhile. Move around the room and watch them interact with one another. Do this for at least an hour. Then review what you've just seen and heard. I guarantee that you won't find a bigger group of social retards socially maladjusted people. I don't know what it is about universities, but they tend to draw an overwhelming number of misfits. It was described to me perfectly the other day: in society, you have a majority of normal people coexisting with a minority of oddities, people on the fringe who don't know how to act in public. In academia, it's the reverse. The misfits are in charge and the normal folks are on the fringe, getting the weird looks and the sidelong glances. Why is that?

Gulp

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:14:24 GMT

Yesterday I was talking to my students about two women in American history who argued that marriage was nothing more than an economic arrangement. I wanted to get the kids talking about their opinions on it, and what I discovered floored me. Marriage is completely about money, they said. Love has very little to do with it. Love is a factor maybe when you first get married, a few argued, but love fades and after twenty years or so, you need something more to fall back on. What's more, a few of them pointed out, everyone has a prenup these days. While I stood there, gaping at these eighteen-year-olds who seemed even more cynical than my most cynical friends, they went on to tell me countless stories of friends and family members of theirs who had recently married (many still in college) solely for money. And one told me that she dumped her last boyfriend because he was too poor. Finally, when I didn't think anything else could shock me more, it happened. Of course marriage is all about money, one of my students said, isn't that why the gays want to get married? And with that, my crumbled soul started to weep.

Mad Skillz

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:39:05 GMT

There are days, man, there are days when I yearn (YEARN!) for an 8 to 5 job. Days when the sheer enormity of my dissertation comes crushing down on me like a pile of bricks, days when the project seems so profoundly undoable, days when I want nothing more than the ability to go to work and not care about my job. What's that? You say that those types of jobs only pay $25,000 a year? Sign me up, yo, 'cause that would be a pay RAISE. And then, once these thoughts are firmly entrenched, I remind myself that I had such a job. And I hated every second of it, felt myself getting stupider while I had it, and resented the jackasses charming people for whom I toiled. It also helps if I remember the time that one of my bosses walked all the way across the office, straight past the photocopier, to demand that I photocopy one single-sided page for her. Or the time that my manager, while wearing orthopedic shoes, criticized my own footwear. Or the time that another one of my bosses instructed me never to open her mail, then later demanded to know why I hadn't opened her mail. Inevitably, after I've reminded myself of this, I sigh and remember why I went to graduate school in the first place.

A funny thing happened...

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:56:20 GMT

Ever since I started graduate school, I couldn't wait to get out. That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed myself; on the contrary, I've felt more comfortable professionally in graduate school than anywhere else. But I was always eager to reach the final destination, to clear all those hurdles and finally get my PhD. And since last May, I've pretty much been thinking that Spring 2009 would be when I would attain that goal. But then I met with my committee this weekend, and again with my dissertation advisor today. And their consensus has been, yeah, you'll be able to graduate Spring 2009. And all of a sudden I'm all, wait... what? And I start metaphorically wringing my hands and wondering why it got so hot in the room so suddenly. Can't someone turn on the air, please, and get me a cold glass of water? It feels so strange-- wonderful, of course, and scary at the same time-- that this is finally going to happen. Part of me, I confess, still feels like a small child entering elementary school and wondering who will sit with me at lunch.

The Cold War and Fatherhood

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:28:46 GMT

In my class yesterday, we finished up our discussion of the 1950s and how the Cold War and the threat of Communism affected Americans. I asked my students why, in their opinion, Americans at large and the US government in particular was so worried about Communism. What was so frightening about it? And during the discussion, one of my students raised his hand and said, "I hate to say this, because he's a really great guy, but it's just like my dad! If it's not his idea, he's against it. If it's not his plan, he doesn't like it!" I could barely hear what else he said because we were all laughing so hard.

Feeling the distance

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 12:56:51 GMT

I've said before, here, that graduate school is a very lonely experience. But it's not just the work that brings solitude. It's also, for me, the incredible distance from friends and family. When I think about the last four and a half years that we've been down here, more than a thousand miles from home, one thing that comes to mind is all the times when I desperately wanted to be back in Kansas. Sometimes I wanted to be close to the people who needed comforting while they dealt with tragedy. Death, prolonged illness, suicide, divorce, and more. But other times I wanted to be back for reasons that are much more elemental. To smell the air, see the trees, and immerse myself the familiar. For a number of reasons, we're not likely to be able to visit this summer. And while I know we'll be back at Christmas, I also know that until then I'll look out my office window every once in awhile and wonder what home looks like right at that moment.