Something Shiny! - LOL category

This way for the beard-pulling and pantsing

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:44:30 GMT

So, I subscribe to a number of history-related mailing lists (let the mocking begin). It helps me keep abreast (insert Beavis laugh, and extra points if you know who Beavis is) of the job market, new publications, upcoming conferences, and whatnot. Translation: it's usually fairly boring. But, BUT! Occasionally someone will post a seemingly mundane question to the list, then one thing leads to another, and all hell breaks loose. Suddenly, history professors across the country scramble to remember how to post a message to the list! Chaos runs rampant! But, honestly, it's not like these guys are debating how best to cure cancer. Today's flurry of activity began innocently enough, about an old history monograph. It quickly devolved into whether or not the Constitution helped or hurt fugitive slaves. Regardless of the topic, whenever this happens, I can't help but picture a bunch of old guys in tweed suits throwing elbows. All decorum goes out the window when the name-calling and wedgie-giving ensues.

All nosy on the breakfast front

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:30:16 GMT

This morning, as John and I headed for the front door of Badly Decorated Bed and Breakfast, the breakfast saga got even weirder when the owners' personal trainer remarked that we weren't sticking around for breakfast for the second day in a row. Whaaaa? I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met. My name is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Seriously! When did it become a federal crime to refuse the breakfast portion of a bed and breakfast?

On the air mattress front, John didn't sleep well last night (understandably), which for John means that he talked in his sleep a lot. He woke me up at 4 in the morning wondering aloud what was on his face. He kept pointing at his nose and saying, "what's this??? What's this???" to which I replied "... ... ...it's your nose." Apparently that wasn't satisfactory, though, because then he began touching his upper lip furiously and saying, "there's a bug here! A bug! I CAN FEEL IT!!!" And, really, how can you argue with somnolent logic like that? I hate to admit that I actually looked (smacks forehead), then hissed at him gently encouraged him to go back to sleep.

And now for something completely unrelated: I like Rose and Radish just as much as the next person. But $34 for a single napkin? Isn't that a bit much? Are they individually handmade by Belgian unicorns or something?

Eddie, unleashed

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:47:25 GMT

Years ago, when we were in college, John and I were flipping channels one night and came across a standup act on HBO. My roommate and I didn't get HBO, so the picture was terribly grainy, but we caught enough of it to know that we needed to see more of this British comedian named Eddie Izzard. His comedy was not only funny, it was smart- something you don't see too often in an age when "git 'er done" sends many people into uproarious laughter. I called the cable company the very next day and bought HBO, just so we could catch the show again. Ever since then, John and I have wanted to see Eddie live. In college, we never had the money to go see him. But a few months ago, I found out that he was going on tour again in the states. We spent last night in Tampa, seeing Eddie perform live, at last. And I don't think I've ever laughed so damned hard. My stomach still aches from laughing for over two hours straight. There were many times when I was laughing so hard that I was crying, laughing so hard that I had to keep wiping tears from my face, laughing so hard that I had a hard time catching my breath. If you have the means, and you have the opportunity, I highly recommend you go see Eddie live. It's an experience you won't soon forget. I can't remember the last time I had So. Much. FUN.

The other problem with working from home

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:46:52 GMT

Okay, cards on the table time. The other problem with working from home is the knowledge that my bed is just down the hallway. Can I tell you how much I love that bed (which, let's be honest, I capitalize as if it's a proper noun, as in "Bed")? I have been known, when I'm extra tired, to compose Odes To Bed once I've crawled under the sheets. Usually they're short, like "All Good Things Happen In Bed" or "Bed is So Nice" or something like that. I come by this Bed love affair honestly. My mom also has an affinity for Bed. When I was little, she used to call down the stairs from my parents' room and say, "What would we do without beds?" This Bed Mania isn't without its hazards, though, as every now and again when I'm neck-deep in research, I have the sudden urge to go take a nap. I convince myself that it wouldn't be a long nap, and don't I deserve a little break? And that's just a slippery slope. Because first it's all, "I'll just take a five minute nap." And then it's "I haven't fallen asleep after five minutes, so I might as well set an alarm for an hour from now." And then, before you know it, someone is shaking you and informing you that it's been three days, are you're planning on going back to work ever? I'm just saying.

Use the pool if yous wants

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:10:00 GMT

Crazy Old Neighbor's house went on the market on Sunday and had three offers by Monday afternoon. (How that happens in this kind of market, in this kind of economy, is baffling to me.) The new homeowner came over yesterday to introduce himself and make small talk. He was wearing a beige tracksuit (unbuttoned to reveal the top third of his chest), sported enormous sunglasses, and said to John "you ever got a problem, you call me-- 'cause I'm good at that stuff." I can't be certain, but I think he's actually Elliott Gould as Reuben Tishkoff from the Ocean's movies:

Terribly uncool

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:30:26 GMT

Have you ever stopped to think about the things you used to wear? I'm not talking about that one ill-conceived outfit you wore once and never again. I'm talking about the clothing and accessories you used to sport on a regular, if not a daily basis. Does it make you cringe? Just this morning I was thinking about a necklace that all the girls in junior high were wearing one year. I wanted one SO badly. For my birthday that year, I got one. What was it, you ask? It was a jingle bell necklace. And I thought it was the very essence of cool. And what about tight-rolled jeans? Remember that fad? Are you cringing yet? How about Hypercolor tshirts? Do you ever wonder if there's a trend that people are sporting right now that we'll look back on with incredulity? Oh, wait...

The thing about working from home

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:45:18 GMT

The thing about working from home that nobody seems to realize is just how much toilet paper you go through. Think about it! When you're at the office, you occasionally have to use the facilities (let's be adults here and not go into specifics). So you do, and you use office toilet paper. For eight hours a day, five days a week, you've got access to toilet paper that someone else is buying. But when you work from home? Not so much with the free toilet paper. This is something that wasn't explained to me adequately when both John and I started working from home. It wasn't explained at all, come to think of it. So now I have this nagging thought that I should start tracking how much money we spend on toilet paper for the bathroom between our offices, so that I can write it off on our taxes. Hey, it's a home office expense, right? RIGHT?