Search results
"category:/lol"
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1
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Brilliant inventions
I had this brilliant invention when I was little. It was nothing short of genius, I tell you. It was a bed, right? But no ordinary bed, no sir. This was a bed that was at least twice as tall as your average box spring and mattress. It had a small door on ... |
Sep 17, 2008 |
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2
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Procrastination: the best nation in the world
So, something occurred to me the other day. (Please hold your applause until the very end.) Nobody is going to write this dissertation for me. I know, right? What a monumental discovery. They should give me a t-shirt that has Captain Obvious emblazoned in ... |
Sep 12, 2008 |
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3
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Incredulity, I haz it
This isn't my story, it's Sally's story, but since my other posts this week have been Sally-related I thought I'd run with it. Sally met a stripper at the Atlanta airport. Wait, that sounded bad. Sally had an hours-long layover in Atlanta and spent it at ... |
Sep 10, 2008 |
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4
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Sally-isms; or, "Serenity now!"
At the IKEA restaurant, Sally was effectively boxed into her seating area by patrons and baby strollers, so I offered to get her a drink refill when she needed one. Me: What do you want? Sally: Something diet. Me [up at the soda fountain, pointing at the ... |
Sep 9, 2008 |
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5
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Smartypants
I think there's a part of my brain that just likes to mess with the rest of me. That part of my brain routinely whispers the question, "Are you wearing pants?" Really, you'd laugh at how often this happens to me. Just today, I was walking into a meeting ... |
Aug 28, 2008 |
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6
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Fortune cookie strike
This fortune cookie has given up handing out advice of its own. It wants you to go elsewhere for advice from now on. |
Aug 20, 2008 |
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7
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Same difference
Me: "So they're looking for an Assistant Professor of Chinese history at Berkeley." John: "Oh?" Me: "Yeah. I bet I could do that." John: "Oh yeah?" Me: "Yeah! I took Chinese history." John: "Wasn't that Japanese history?" Me: "... Oh, right." |
Aug 15, 2008 |
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8
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How do you know?
How do you know when the time is right? How do you know if it's what you really want? How do you know whether you can handle it? How do you know if you can afford it? How do you know if there'll be enough space in the house? How do you know if there'll ... |
Aug 11, 2008 |
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9
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Keeping my day job
John walked into the kitchen the other day, just as I was cutting up some beef for our oldest cat (don't ask). He started laughing as I made my way through the pile of raw meat, cutting each piece down with a pair of kitchen shears, and he paused to catch ... |
Jul 8, 2008 |
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10
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Would you care for a glass of champagne?
Hi! Hello there. Did you have a happy Fourth? Hopefully yours was decidedly less rainy than ours. It's just as well, I suppose, since Gainesville doesn't actually have a fireworks display. Apparently the city is out of money for fireworks and (woe to many ... |
Jul 7, 2008 |
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11
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This way for the beard-pulling and pantsing
So, I subscribe to a number of history-related mailing lists (let the mocking begin). It helps me keep abreast (insert Beavis laugh, and extra points if you know who Beavis is) of the job market, new publications, upcoming conferences, and whatnot. ... |
Jun 26, 2008 |
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12
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All nosy on the breakfast front
This morning, as John and I headed for the front door of Badly Decorated Bed and Breakfast, the breakfast saga got even weirder when the owners' personal trainer remarked that we weren't sticking around for breakfast for the second day in a row. Whaaaa? ... |
Jun 25, 2008 |
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13
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Eddie, unleashed
Years ago, when we were in college, John and I were flipping channels one night and came across a standup act on HBO. My roommate and I didn't get HBO, so the picture was terribly grainy, but we caught enough of it to know that we needed to see more of ... |
Jun 19, 2008 |
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14
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The other problem with working from home
Okay, cards on the table time. The other problem with working from home is the knowledge that my bed is just down the hallway. Can I tell you how much I love that bed (which, let's be honest, I capitalize as if it's a proper noun, as in "Bed")? I have ... |
Jun 18, 2008 |
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15
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Use the pool if yous wants
Crazy Old Neighbor's house went on the market on Sunday and had three offers by Monday afternoon. (How that happens in this kind of market, in this kind of economy, is baffling to me.) The new homeowner came over yesterday to introduce himself and make ... |
Jun 17, 2008 |
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16
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Terribly uncool
Have you ever stopped to think about the things you used to wear? I'm not talking about that one ill-conceived outfit you wore once and never again. I'm talking about the clothing and accessories you used to sport on a regular, if not a daily basis. Does ... |
Jun 13, 2008 |
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17
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The thing about working from home
The thing about working from home that nobody seems to realize is just how much toilet paper you go through. Think about it! When you're at the office, you occasionally have to use the facilities (let's be adults here and not go into specifics). So you ... |
Jun 11, 2008 |
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18
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A flux capacitor?
I am truly a child of the '80s. Whenever John talks to me about capacitors of any kind, I interrupt with a Back to the Future reference. It usually goes something like this: John: So if I could hook it up to a capacitor... Me: A flux capacitor? John: ... |
Jun 6, 2008 |
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19
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Did I say that out loud?
So the other night, apparently, as I was drifting to sleep I waxed rhapsodic about how great it would be to have a yurt. A cozy yurt where we could get away from it all when we needed to. Some people get timeshares in the Caymans, some have toasty cabins ... |
Jun 5, 2008 |
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20
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The ice cream diet
I normally don't know how much I weigh. Despite the fact that we own a scale, I rarely step on it. A couple months ago, though, I felt compelled to weigh myself. And then I did it again over the weekend. And folks, something amazing had happened. Without ... |
May 13, 2008 |