Horny Toad

When I was little, my parents and I were on a walk up near the zoo and we saw a man hovered over something in the parking lot. My mom and I went to see what he was looking at, and found that it was a large brown toad. I don't remember if either of us asked him what it was, or if he just volunteered the information, but I do remember distinctly that he said, "It's a horneeeee toooooad." He had a thick accent, maybe Minnesota or South Dakota, and he really drew out the words. "Horneeeeee toooooad." And I thought it was hysterical. Not the words, mind you, but his accent. So I kept repeating it all day. "Horneeee toooad. Horneeeeeeeeeeeee tooooooooooad." And every time I said it, my mom laughed even harder, and said, "No, it's a horned toad. A horned toad." But I knew what I'd heard, I knew what the man had said. "Horneeeeeee toooooad." Ah, the innocence of childhood.