When I'm queen...

When I'm queen, people will know how to bag groceries correctly. Grocery sacking in this country is a travesty. It's far worse than the economy, folks. So when I'm queen, I'll institute a few simple rules with regard to bagging groceries.

• Fruits and veg should go in their own sack. Put more robust fruits and veg, such as cantaloupe and onions, at the bottom of the sack. Delicate items, such as berries and leafy greens need to be at the top, lest they get squished. Under no circumstances should a heavy juice container be placed on top of bananas. Such cross-pollination of groceries will not be tolerated under my reign.
• Refrigerated or frozen goods should never be placed alongside goods in paperboard containers, such as cereal boxes and the like. Inevitably, the cereal box begins to take on the condensation its chilly neighbors, and its structural integrity begins to fail. And nobody wants that with breakfast.
• Liquids, such as milk and juice, shall go in the same sack/s. Likewise, any toiletries or paper products shall also go in their own sacks. (See above note, regarding cross-pollination of groceries.)

As you can see, all of these simple rules follow a basic concept: like with like. If we can all follow these basic procedures, the world will be a better place. Long live the queen!