"She's makin' assumptions about me!"

So normally I don't blog about my students, but I couldn't resist this one. I was in my classroom on Thursday before class and one of my students, obviously upset, came up to me and whispered something furtively in my ear. The only thing I clearly heard was "contraceptive," so I asked her to step into the hallway with me. Once out of sight of the rest of the class, she whipped a condom out of her pocket and hissed, "some woman gave this to me on my way to class!!!" Relieved it wasn't something more than that, I explained to her that on Valentine's Day each year, a student group hands out condoms at UF to students on campus. She wasn't reassured. "She's makin' assumptions about me! I'm a freshman! What do I do?" I looked at her blankly and she continued, "What if my MOM comes to visit and she sees this?!?" I promised her I'd throw it away for her, but I couldn't help but laugh.