Last night, John and I punted and went to our neighborhood pizza place to pick up dinner. While we were catching up with the owner, he happened to mention that he's on a diet, he's quit drinking, and he's about to quit smoking. When I congratulated him to his success, he started talking about how he owes it all to this fruit juice he's been drinking. He made sure nobody else was looking, then furtively reached into the mini-fridge and pulled out what looked suspiciously like a bottle of wine. Screw-top wine. He explained to us that this fruit juice was made with berries from the Amazon and that you're supposed to drink 2 ounces each morning and 2 ounces each evening. Not only is it great for your health, he claimed, "but you can make money off of it!" He leaned in, for full effect: "You get a bunch of people involved, you see, and then you've got one leg here and one leg here [making motions with his left, then right hands] and the money just starts to trickle down!" Before you could say 'underpants gnomes,' we thanked him for the pizza and took off. Berries from the Amazon, I ask you!

You see one caterpillar on your front stoop, you think, "hey look-- a fuzzy caterpillar!" You see two caterpillars on your front stoop, you think, "huh... Caterpillar 1 must have brought a buddy." You see EIGHT caterpillars on your front stoop and you scream, "YOU GUYS BETTER NOT BE HAVING SEX ON MY STOOP!"