"I must know how this works, I've used machines before!"

For my birthday in December, John got me a 14-cup Cuisinart food processor. That thing is a mighty machine, let me tell you. But because of school commitments, I hadn't had a chance to use yet. Yesterday I had my chance. I wanted to make a blackberry galette, which meant that I had to make a polenta pastry crust first. I broke out the Cuisinart, filled it with the necessary ingredients, put the lid on, and pressed the "on" button. Nothing happened. I unplugged it and plugged it back in and tried again. Still nothing. I was totally pissed! Here was a brand-new, never-before-used piece of professional machinery, and it wasn't working for shit! Frustrated, I got out the manual to see if there was some key step I was missing (which seemed unlikely, since the only available buttons were "on" and "off/pulse" and neither one was working). The manual was no help. I pressed the "on" button again. Still nothing. In an act of sheer desperation, I put the handy Cuisinart DVD (no, I'm not kidding) into my computer. I couldn't fast-forward to the part where it told me the secret to starting it up, so I had to sit through about 10 minutes of "these blades are sharp, so don't run your fingers across them." Finally, manna from heaven: the answer! There is a distinct front and back to the machine, and although the lid closes at either the front or the back, only the back position is correct. In other words, everything was correct about my setup except the lid. Doh! Once I got that figured out, it was sheer food-processing joy.